


Twas the night Before Durin’s Day.

by ArtyMissK



Series: Poems, Mathoms & Other Things [26]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Night Before Christmas - Clement Clarke Moore
Genre: Fluff, Humour, Inspired by Poetry, Other, Poetry, gen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21934219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtyMissK/pseuds/ArtyMissK
Summary: A variation on the festive poem.
Relationships: Kíli (Tolkien)/Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Thorin Oakenshield & Thorin's Company
Series: Poems, Mathoms & Other Things [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/654110
Kudos: 6





	Twas the night Before Durin’s Day.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Christmas :)

Twas the night before Durin’s Day, and all through the camp,

Not a creature was stirring, not even bugs by the lamp.

Thorin's stockings were hung near the fire with care,

In hopes that the Arkenstone soon would be there.

The dwarves they were huddled quite snug in their bedrolls,

With roundabout visions of scrolls, trolls and keyholes.

Bilbo had no ‘kerchief, Bofur had a hat,

They were all settled in for a chilly nights nap.

Bilbo dreamed of his garden and nice comfy bed,

Kili dreamt of the she-elf whose long hair was red.

There they all slept on the mountains stone ledge,

If too many rolled over they’d fall off the edge.

The autumnal moon and first sun of winter,

Uncovered a way for the dwarves to go hither.

Near the edge of the door there they all stood steadfast,

And gazed upon hallways carven and vast.

They sent in the burglar for he had light feet,

And warned him of dangers he was sure to meet.

He came back with a cup made of silver with care,

And gave it to Thorin, it went with his hair.

‘Oh, Balin! Oh, Dwalin! Oh, Bifur and Gloin!

Oh, Bombur! Oh, Nori! Oh, Dori and Oin!

To the treasure room now! There will be lots of gold!

Now follow me! Follow me! Look it's all got so old!’

But deep in the mountain there rose plooms of grey smoke,

Thorin suddenly wished for of his shield of old oak.

Through the gates of the mountain what should emerge,

But a fucking great dragon whose flames burned the verge.

As dry leaves all cracked and the tall trees caught fire,

The people of Laketown knew the situation was dire.

The city burned to ashes, well it was made of wood,

Bard shot down the dragon, they knew he was good.

The bargeman became king but didn't know what to do,

When an elf on a moose came to his peoples rescue.

He wanted a war and a necklace to boot,

Bard thought ‘Oh boy, this elf, he sure is a hoot.’

The wizard said listen but nobody did,

A man wore a dress, his name was Alfrid.

Elves, men and dwarves, eagles and a bear,

Fought Orcs who could strategize - that wasn't fair.

The battle that ensued was bloody and grim,

Thorin died and some random relative became King.

Brave Fili and Kili they were goners too,

For such a great story the ending was poo.

Bilbo said his goodbyes and that was that,

Bofur gave him a scarf but wouldn't give him his hat.

The dwarves they all cried as their friend went away,

Some knew that they’d go and visit him someday.

When Bilbo got home he couldn't believe it,

They’d sold off his poof and mothers glory basket.

Lobelia tried to nick his silver spoons,

He’d steal it all back the very next afternoon.

Bilbo stood in his home that was empty and bare.

In his pocket went his hand a magic ring was in there.

At the end of each autumn every year he would say.

‘HAPPY DURIN’S DAY TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD DAY!’

~

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve actually written one of these for each movie…which I might post if anyone wants me to!


End file.
